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first responders & their families

courtesy of first responder magazine

my husband is a first responder. so is my son. many people’s husbands, wives, sons, daughters, and family are first responders. this may mean they are a police officer, a firefighter, an ems technician, an ambulance driver, in the military, or even one of many, many support services that keep all these occupations [and many others] operating. whoever the first responder is, they put a lot on the line and there’s generally no argument about that. they have made commitments to put the safety and welfare of others ahead of themselves. they are, no doubt, the everyday hero’s of our world.

yet…. i never realized what exactly the families of some of these first responders go through.

i understand everyday what it is like to kiss a husband in law enforcement goodbye never knowing what the day will bring. however, this past fall, i understood what it was like to watch your military son leave to serve his country in iraq. and this past month, when hurricane ike hit houston, i understood the burden of responsibilities that fall upon the families of these first responders when they are away on extended shifts taking care of everyone else’s families.

for almost 3 weeks, my husband worked 12 hour plus shifts, often bunking at his station because there was no time to make the 45 minute turned 3 hour commute home and return back again on time  [due to debris, flooding, and road closures]. i was left with a damaged house to clean up, kids to take care of, and a numerous host of things that in ordinary circumstances, would be difficult enough with him at home. we had no power and we were told the drinking water was not safe. we had to try to find food as we had been advised to stock up for only 72 hours. well, 72 hours turned into weeks. i have a daughter with diabetes who must have her insulin and whose insulin must be kept cold. i have rheumatoid arthritis but had to pick up, in some cases, whole trees, and move them to a safer place as designated by our community association.  my children and i raked the yard for 3 days only to redo it all over again each morning thereafter as nightly winds scattered more debis across the neighborhood. we ate cold canned food, went to bed at sundown and got up at sunrise.

please don’t take this the wrong way, i am not complaining! i am thankful that we were not injured, the damage to our home and neighbors was not worse, and we all came out of it ok [which many, unbeknown as a result of the almost absent media coverage, did not] . complaining isn’t what this blog is about. i am simply relaying one story, my story, as an example of what millions of first responders families go though.

to break it down a little, let’s take just one institution of first response: hpd. the houston police department employees over 5,000 officers. that is 5,000 families who were without a family member during this [and many other] crises. multiply this by all the differing professions that first responders occupy, taking into account all of the crisis interventionists, per se,  in all the world and you have a whole bunch of families that end up in need themselves. families that for the most part, never complain, never ask for special assistance, and in fact, forgo much help in order to allow their first responder to do his or her duty. and, might i add,  this, in addition, to the fear such families often face regarding the fate of their responder during the crisis itself, is an issue that needs some attention.

i heard a really sad story during hurricane ike [and there were and continue to be many], but this one was about a first responder, a police officer and his family nonetheless. no, he wasn’t injured physically but you could say he was injured financially, socially, and i’m sure, motivationally. this police officer, who shall go unnamed, called his station to report that a huge tree had fallen though the roof of his house and that he needed to attend to it to ensure the safety of his family. his supervisor’s response was that he must “come in” or suffer the consequences. well… he chose to make sure that his family and kids were safe, their belongings protected from the elements, and that they had somewhere to sleep. as a result, he was suspended.suspended, i am sure, without pay and his record blemished for the rest of his career.

in the ‘duty to put others first”, do these families not count?

something is wrong here.

somewhere, somehow, we need to learn to take care of each other and in doing so, not forget the caretakers themselves.