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The “Must-Have” Accessory for 2009: Manners (or Michelle Obama, Carla Bruni, The Queen, Cyberspace and Manners)

...a fine wine should never go unappreciated"

It has been a long time since I’ve blogged. Partly due to a busy schedule; partly due to lack of inspiration. I used to keep an ongoing blog on Vox but it became rather repetitive and, shall I just say, boring. But Alas! I feel like blogging again. What was(is) the precipitous for writing this time? Bad Manners.

Just so you won’t think that I manipulated the title of this blog in an effort to get “hits”, as some people call them, or readers, let me tell you how Michelle Obama, Carla Bruni, and The Queen fits into the topic. As I assume most of you know, the G20 Economic Summit took place in London this week. Basically, the G20 is an international group of political leaders that control almost 85% of the global economy (between their nations). They meet periodically in an effort to forge relationships and combine resources in the attempt to address our world’s many monetary crises. I would say that is a very mannerly thing to do. However, as you are also probably aware, much focus was given to the fashion statement that would be made by the wives of both the president of France and the president of the United States;  Carla Bruni and Michelle Obama and respectively. Mrs. Obama has become somewhat of a fashion leader in The States with her signature style of practical and economical, yet fashionable,  couture while Ms. Bruni, a former model, delights her country in the latest designer fashions with no regard to cost. I have no qualms with either of these ladies or what they wear. And, if you must know, I think Ms. Bruni won the “fashion face-down” -as the media was calling it – at the meeting in Strasbourg, France. (I did not care for Mrs. Obama’s coat; although I liked her dress, the fabric of Michelle’s coat was a bit busy and a little too reminiscent of my grandmothers nightgown).  But all that aside, I am much more interested in the manners that these women show than in the clothes that they wear. I was glad the media made a little to-do about the embrace of the queen by Mrs. Obama. The reason? Manners are important. Protocol is important. And, no matter how dolled up you may look, or how impressive your vitae may be, if you do not possess basic manners then to me, and many others I must guess, you simply fail to impress.

I recently returned from a trip to Europe. I didn’t manage 5 countries in 8 days like The President; but I did see 5 in 11 days! It was wonderful, peaceful and enlightening.  I was struck by the contrast in manners I observed in the European people as compared to the American people. Even on the busy streets of London, I did not see people conducting business while they were walking, ignoring their children while chatting on cell phones, or even plopping out the laptop on the local bus stop sitting bench. London seemed much more mannered than The States, at least in this regard. Cyber-rudeness has gotten out of control. Families sit at dinner and cannot even finish a conversation without someone on a DS, cell phone, or laptop. It seems we are getting further and further away from personal interaction and beginning to withdraw into our crutches, so to speak. To make it even worse, there appears to be some kind of unspoken competition for who has the best smart phone, the most technologically advanced camera,  the slimmest laptop and so forth. You know what? I don’t care. I think we should get back to using these things for what they are – tools – and not as a substitute for our humanness.  Don’t get me wrong… I love cyberspace and all the gadgets that inhabit it, but I refuse to sacrifice my most human characteristics such as consideration for my fellow man, appreciation and thoughtfulness to electronica.

One thing I always tried to teach my children was basic manners. Say “Thank You” when someone offers a compliment. Look people in the face when you are speaking to them. Write a short note of thanks or express your gratitude verbally when you are given a gift. Acknowledge people when they acknowledge you. Be cooperative; not competitive. Remember people’s birthdays. Watch your words… In other words, treat people with respect, consideration and the dignity they deserve.  It’s not so hard these days. In lieu of a letter of thanks, a simple email or instant message will often do the trick; however, for more formal occasions, such as expressing thanks for a wedding gift, a hand-written note is appropriate. When somebody calls you, return their call or at least let them know you received it.  Don’t present false images of yourself.  Realize you are a model to younger people and that somebody may be looking up to you. Realize that with just one negation you can hurt someone’s feelings and/or impair  your own image in their eyes. Be honest, be loving, be ready to help and never fall into the trap of thinking that you are better than someone else or the similar trap of trying to be better than someone else. Be happy with what makes you happy. Don’t be so egocentric. Don’t be so selfish. You don’t have to be the best, the prettiest, the smartest, the most admired, the best well-traveled, the cutest…. just be you and remember your manners. People will like you much better for it.

Think about it. Fashion changes, gadgets come and go, we all grow older, but…. manners will always be “en vogue” and in my opinion, if you don’t have them, you need to put them on your “must have” list for 2009 A.S.A.P.

Something to Consider:

http://fashion.mashget.com/2009/04/02/anna-post-manners-fit-for-a-queen/

Something to Read:

http://www.amazon.com/Miss-Manners-Guide-Turn-Millennium/dp/067172228X

Something to Do:

http://www.lifescript.com/Quizzes/Personality/Do_You_Have_Good_Manners.aspx?trans=1&du=1&gclid=CP_pkIiS2JkCFSQMDQodEAjKWg&ef_id=1350:3:s_ef17335d321cc775e6b42cdbf2f03931_2539968935:IQgEzEGvMaAAAGGTBNMAAAAI:20090404211255